Ignorance.

At the moment I've just finished watching the Tyra Banks show. She has just done a special on gay marriage. I am agnostic and personally believe that marriage is a Christain based value. On which I don't ever intend on celebrating. Although my problem is with the law is the copious amounts of rights that go with being married.

Imagine you were at your death bed in hospital. Written in law is that blood relatives and married partners can assist in decisions that effect your health. What if your same sex partner of 20 years couldn't be part of that because a little hitch that you couldn't legally be married. In New Zealand we have civil unions which I completely support. But what frustrates me is a lot is places this isn't the case. In California the law for gay people to be married was passed. Then taken away again. In my opinion this is taking away civil rights. Loving someone so much you want to spend the rest of your life with them shouldn't matter on the gender. Giving someone a right so strong and celebrated as this one and then take it away is disgusting. The government wouldn't do this to straight people so why gay people? It's just hideous discrimination. Which a lot of people are always going to feel because of societies pressures and traditional Christian values that brain wash people.

A woman said on the Tyra show 'Being gay is a choice, You can't stop being black but you can stop being gay' when asked if the civil rights issues were similar to those fort for many years ago. I wasn't shocked at this remark when I've known people who have said similar things to me. I'm bisexual so my opinion is stronger on this issue. Not being 'straight' isn't a choice that you can choose and NO Dad it's not a phase. I've had my own fair share of trouble on trying to be accepted and I know i'm not the only one. But to say it's a choice it's not. I didn't wake up one day and decide 'oh I won't be straight today, I've decided i'm going to be discriminated against by religious and homophobic people'. It doesn't work that way. It's hard enough accepting yourself as not being straight when your own mother tells you it makes her feel sick, it hurts.

When I was younger around 14 I started thinking about things that I have been told in my life is wrong. These things were thoughts surrounding women and how I was seeing people I have meet as more than potential friends. After many nights of thinking and getting upset and frustrated I came to realize that I wasn't wrong and I was still me. I was helped to this realization but when a friend of mine took be along to Q-topia. I only ever went twice but it made me more comfortable with who I was. Thanks guys! If you're reading this and need that same reassurance i would suggest them http://qtopia.org.nz/. My point being it's not a choice it's just the way we are and i'm SICK of people telling me it's wrong. It's not.

The other thing that really gets me is men saying 'I don't like gay men but I like lesbians because I like to watch', Hey guys If you haven't noticed lesbians DON'T like men, they don't want you to watch, they are NOT doing it for your enjoyment. If thats not ignorance I don't know what is.

Song

This is my favorite song I've ever written. It's about a girl in a dominating relationship.


Hollow.
This is not another love song,This is a story of war.

She pulls away
Just to let him pull her closer and closer again
Eyes of hate, strike across her face.
Bitter sweet is never the ending.
Only the beguinning.

Chorus (clean vocals)
Why can't he see as she's fighting fighting,
the more mess he'll make
closer to her throat
harder to beathe
he'll make her chokescreaming someone save me!

The insecurities she's felt trying to hide,
Her hair in her eyes, used and cast aside.
His very own: rag doll.
But she can fight it.
It will make a war so hard to win.

Chorus

To fight back is to challenge
Her Will. Her strength. Her Power.
Is it not the end until she watches him cripple at her feet?
What is love? War.

Erotic Asphyxiation.

"The beauty of the pain that strikes my lungs.
A fate so close to death. On the edge.
Your fingers feel like needles against my skin
My lungs are icing over and I stop thinking, groaning for air.
Your fingers clasped around my throat with eyes set to kill.
A pause, in the play of the game.
Lets me breathe."

I can hear the voice of society right now informing me that cutting of the oxygen to another’s brain for ones and their own enjoyment is slightly strange but I will not seise to continue...
In reading that many of you may be thinking what is she talking about? How does the author’s voice come though of enjoyment rather than fear and thoughts of death? But how many have you ever have considered it in an erotic sense. Erotic asphyxiation refers to intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. It is also called asphyxiophilia, autoerotic asphyxia, or breath control play.

You may think this is odd, but it is a very common fetish in the world of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism –also commonly referred to as B&D or S&M). The term ‘edge play’ is often used to describe the antics that involve breathe play. Putting your life in someone else’s hands or your own for enjoyment sounds indeed strange and slighting insane. Maybe it is. Various methods are used to achieve the level of oxygen depletion needed, such as a hanging, suffocation with a plastic bag over the head, self-strangulation such as with hands, a ligature, gas or volatile solvents, chest compression, or some combination of these. Sometimes, complicated devices are used to produce the desired effects.

What intrigues me about to be honest is the total mix of sensations you receive upon the cutting off of air circulation. Your body instantly panics. Your brain goes into over drive. Your eyes feel like they are going to explode out of your skull. Your body starts to become rigid and frail and slowly loose consciousness. At THAT point you know enough is enough. The cause of loss of consciousness can cause brain damage and potential death. Deaths often occur when the loss of consciousness caused by partial asphyxia leads to loss of control over the means of strangulation, resulting in continued asphyxia and death. So here’s where I must add in keep play safe, sane and consensual readers this is very important.

Our ideals of society tell us that this is a wrong practice. It’s tempting fate. Well if you would like to inform this to anyone involved in the life stylings of BDSM you would be informed where to go. Although I may be slightly bias since I myself enjoy the erotic stimulation of the senses I still dislike the stereotypes surrounding this activity. Recently in the news a man said his wife died from ‘erotic asphyxiation’ where the evidence pointed to purposeful strangulation. More and more people are using this as a common excuse for murder. However if the participants were sane and knew what they were doing this wouldn’t even be a problem. What really winds me up is when people think they know everything when they really haven’t done any research before hand. Hello?! What do you think the internet is for? The man in this case in my opinion was either borderline insane or was informed of erotic asphyxia by his rather intelligent lawyer.
Yes over all in this particular post I am not trying to discourage you from this kind of activity actually the opposite! But however when participating in any kind of edge play not only asphyxia, please PLEASE reader’s research before you act and remember to ....have fun!!

Footnote: Kissing someone while their hand is around your throat is one of the most intense mix of emotions....Think that but on a larger scale ;)